Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Mommy Needs Another Workout

A few days ago, the boys and I were on our way home from the gym.

“Why do we spend so much time at the gym?” Hayden said.

“Because I like to work out, and it keeps me healthy, but more importantly it keeps my psyche balanced.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means it keeps me from yelling at you guys.”

At home a couple of hours later, Brandon asked me for the fifth time if he could put on his pajamas.

“Brandon! I’ve already told you four times you can put on your pajamas! Yes! Yes! Yes! You may put on your pajamas! Now stop asking!”

A quiet voice drifted from Hayden’s bedroom, “Mom, do you need another workout?”


*************************************************************

Hayden: Brandon made a friend at the rec center today.

Me: He did? Who is your new friend, Brandon?

Brandon: His name is Andrew. Andrew was wearing all the same stuff as me - except for my pants, shirt, and Crocs.

Me: That's all you had on, so what was the same?

Brandon: He had the same nose, feet, hands, arm pits, ears - just like me.

Me: Well no wonder you guys became friends.

Brandon: Yeah!




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This past Sunday, Brandon walked into his Sunday School classroom and made a grand announcement to his classmates and teacher.

Brandon: Hey! It's my birthday today!

Teacher: Nuh Uh! What are you going to do today?

Brandon: Whatever I want to do. It's MY birthday!

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We have lots of great conversations in the car. Today while I was driving to the library, I heard Hayden and Brandon discussing God and Jesus... uhm, sort of. :) Enjoy -

Hayden: God has lots of toys.

Brandon: Jesus has toys, too.

Hayden: Yeah. They have the most toys, but I think God has even more because he has ALL the toys.

Brandon: Yeah! Because He's God!

Hayden: I can't wait to die so I can play with all those toys.

Brandon: Yeah! Me, too!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

How to Bridge a Wet Kitchen Floor and Other Lessons From Boys

I had just finished mopping the kitchen floor and told the boys not to walk on it while it was wet. I was in the laundry room sorting clothes. I came out and tiptoed quickly across the wet floor to get to the rug. I glanced over and saw two books, face down, on the wet kitchen floor at the base of the bonus room steps. The boys were in the the bonus room. I hollered up, "guys - why are there books on the wet floor?"

Brandon hollered down, "I didn't want to get my feet wet."

Silly me, I should have known to specify, "no book skating on the wet floor."

*************************************

Recent bedtime conversation -

Brandon: Mom, Hayden's playing in the bed.

Me: Hayden is my job. You worry about you.

Brandon: Hayden IS your job, but it's MY job to tell you he's playing in the bed.

**************************************

What a mom doesn't want to hear when she's using the bathroom and her boys are in the next room-

Brandon: Hayden, try this! You won't die! I promise!

**************************************

One day I had my hair in a pony tail (well, most days... okay every day... I have my hair in a pony tail). One afternoon, Brandon was being very snuggly and we were sitting on the couch together. As he rubbed on my hair, he pulled some of it out of the pony tail holder, and in his sweetest, sunggliest voice he said, "mom, you kinda look like a girl with your hair down like that."

***************************************

I'm trying to decide if I need to be more specific or if the boys need to be less literal. "Shut up" is a no-no in our house, so you'll get a kick out of this conversation:

Hayden: Shut!

Brandon: Mom, Hayden told me to shut up.

Hayden: I did not. I told him to shut.

Me: What did you mean by "shut?"

Hayden: I didn't mean shut up. I meant shut your mouth.

What can I say? The boy is smart. I'm thinking he'd make a great politician someday.

********************************

I sat down on the couch the other night and Brandon was stading in front of me licking his hands. I don't mean just licking his hands, I mean sloppy, wet, spit soaking his hands. I asked him what he was doing and he just laughed. I was trying to say, "Stop doing that, the germs on your hands could make you sick," but before I could get it out, Hayden came running by. And quick like a lizard's tongue, Brandon reached out with his dripping wet hands and grabbed Hayden's face.

I was grossed out. Hayden and Brandon were laying on the floor in hysterics. Michael was in the chair in hysterics. I looked at Brandon, and again he was wetting his weapons. I looked at Michael and he said, "it's a boy thing."

**********************************

Here's the fun thing about having your child's birthday party a week after their actual birthday. They think they are in a week-long birthday celebration. I must have heard "but it's my birthday" twenty times during Hayden's "birthday week." Here's how it went down:

Monday -

Hayden: Can I have extra "sweets" today?
Me: No, two is plenty.
Hayden: (add whine here) But it's my birthday.

Tuesday -

Hayden: Can I get a toy today?
Me: No, you got toys on your birthday, and you'll get lots more at your party.
Hayden: (add whine here) But it's my birthday.

Wednesday -

Hayden: Can we go to McDonalds today?
Me: No, we went to McDonalds yesterday.
Hayden: (add whine here) But it's my birthday.

Thursday -

Hayden: Can I stay up all night tonight?
Me: No!
Hayden: (add whine here) But it's my birthday.

Okay, you get the picture.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

How to Kill a Zombie

From Michael:

My kids and I played Last Night on Earth: The Zombie Board Game for the very first time last night. Hayden is almost 7, and Brandon is 4. They chose the heroes, so I took the zombies. They randomly picked their four heroes: Hayden drew Jake the Drifter and Sally the High School Sweetheart, and Brandon drew Becky the Nurse and Billy the Sheriff’s Son.

The goal: Kill 15 zombies in 15 turns without losing 2 of the 4 heroes.Now, keep in mind that I very rarely let them win, and this game was no exception. I don't need to... they win enough without me being artificially soft on them!

I started out with a whopping TWO out of a possible 12 zombies on the board - one in the Junkyard near Jake and one in the Hospital morgue with Becky. When the zombie moved towards Becky, Brandon thought he could take out the first zombie easily, so he moved Becky to the zombie… and got wounded.

Then the face happened. You've seen that face before. The face where a young child's chin turns to quivering stone. The face where his eyes start squinting and get all watery. Then... WAAAAHHHHH!!! Poor Bran.

With a little consoling from me and big brother, he calmed down (and was absolutely fine the rest of the game, despite almost losing both Becky and Billy). My two zombies quickly became 14 zombies as reinforcements came shambling out of the Junkyard and Bank. From the nearby Gas Station, Jake saw the zombies approaching, shot a couple, and ran.

After sensing that the zombies were hard to kill, the kids mostly tried to stay away from them, and it seemed like bad luck followed the heroes around. Baseball bats broke. Guns never had ammo. A rainstorm kept Jake from getting to the High School for four turns! And by that time, Billy and Sally had left the school. A zombie appeared inside the Gym with Jake. The lights went off in the High School… then the Gym.

By turn 7, they had killed only 3. By turn 13, they had killed only 7. Jake had a bunch of Hero Cards, Billy had two, and the girls had none. I sensed that there would not be enough time for the heroes to kill 8 more zombies and win. Hayden sensed the same thing, asking me, "Daddy, do the good guys always win like in the movies?" Thinking back to the horror movies of my youth, I told him, "The good guys usually win... but not always." He nodded in understanding.

Jake and Becky stood at the windows of the Gym while Sally waited outside the door as a mass of zombies headed towards them in a line. Billy was wounded and was running around scared near the Junkyard as a couple straggler zombies found him to be more interesting than the brain meal in the Gym.Turn 15 arrived, and the kids still had 6 zombies to kill.

Fortunately for them, there was not a lack of targets, as the zombies were starting to come towards the Gym door and through the windows! By the heroes turn, the kids still had 5 zombies to kill, and only Jake had a gun. Jake shot a zombie outside the school... and killed it. 12 down, 3 to go.

Becky managed to kill one zombie in her square while taking a second wound from the other zombie. Billy, wounded, and after running away from the zombies all game, found some hidden courage and ran towards a single zombie near the town center... and killed it!One more to go. Sally, weaponless and cardless, had a single zombie in her space in front of the Gym door.

It was down to this roll. Hayden played a card from Jake that allowed Sally to kill the zombie even without rolling doubles. Hayden rolled a 4 and a 2 – so the zombies would have to get a 4 or higher. I rolled a 5. But Hayden remembered that Sally had a Luck skill, which made me reroll... and I rolled a 2, with no zombie cards to help me.

The kids got wide eyed and said "We won! I can't believe it! WE WON!!! Hey, Mom! MOM! We beat the zombies! It was soooo close! We almost didn't beat them!"

Just like in the movies.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

The One Time It Isn't Okay to Pray

Hayden and I went to Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party today. When he finished eating cake, this conversation began out of the blue:

Hayden: I want you to have a girl baby.

Me: You do? Why a girl?

Hayden: Well I guess you can have a boy too, I'll be older than a boy or a girl.

Me: Well, I'm not having anymore babies.

Hayden: Yes! You have to. I'm going to ask God for another baby. (he places his hands together and begins to pray as Chuck E. dances around our tables)

Me: (grabbing Hayden's hands and stopping his prayer) Stop praying, I don't want anymore babies.

Hayden: Yes, I'm praying.

Me: Hayden, stop it. I'm almost 40 years old. I'm too old for babies. Stop praying!

Hayden: 50 is old, 40 is young. I'm praying. (he places his hands back together and says a quick prayer)

Finally I give up and say a prayer to counteract his prayer. Whew! Good save.


During the car ride home we had this conversation:

Hayden: How are babies made?

Me (partly delaying and partly redirecting): Uhm... that's kind of a tricky question. What's got you thinking about babies all of a sudden?

Hayden: I just like them.

(pause)

(pause)

(me, happy I tiptoed around that one)

(pause)

Hayden: So how are they made?

Me (clearly unprepared): Well, mommies and daddies just get together and love each other a lot. So, are you going to share your Chuck E. Cheese toys with Bran?

Hayden: No

Me: Well you can't show them to him then or he'll be upset.

Hayden: I'll just sneek them into my room.

Whew! Another good save. Lesson learned: if you want to redirect the thoughts of a 6-year-old boy, ask him about sharing his toys with his sibling.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Great Lockout of 2009

I've heard the horror stories, but I never thought it would actually happen to me. Today, shortly after 6:00 p.m., it did. Here's how it went down:

This time of year, with the weather being absolutely perfect, and the boys being out of school and us having no formal plans, we leave the two doors to the deck unlocked and just wander in and out them throughout the day. So, shortly after 6:00, I wandered out one of the doors to glance over the deck rail toward the tree where we have some baby robins living. Read (this) to find out about our baby bird adventure earlier in the day. Brandon followed me out, and a couple of minutes later Hayden was at my side fishing over the deck rail. He's practicing for our big June fishing trip in WV.

As he was fishing he was also snickering off and on. Finally, I began laughing too and said, "what are you giggling about?"

He said, "I locked the door." (more snickering)

I instantly stopped laughing and hoping I didn't hear him correctly said, "you what?"

"I locked the door," he said, clearly pleased with himself. (snickering some more)

I quickly checked the door, and sure enough it was locked. My heart started to pound a little but calmed when I glanced at the other door. Certainly he didn't lock both of them -- afterall he only came out one. So I headed toward the other door.

"I locked that one too," he said. (snickering some more)

"What?" I said, now starting to lose my temper a smidgen as Hayden continued to snicker in the background. When I confirmed that the door was indeed locked, I said, "stop laughing, Hayden, this isn't funny. What are we supposed to do now? How are we supposed to get back in?"

Hayden had what he thought was the perfect solution. "Daddy will let us in."

I had just talked to Daddy before we got locked out. He was still at work. When he left he would be making a couple of stops on the way home. It would be over an hour before Daddy got home. My oven was preheating -- at least it would be nice and warm when we got back in.

I said, "I have no idea when Daddy will be here. What if he doesn't get here until 10:00?" I knew it wouldn't be that late, but my anger had made me a little irrational.

Hayden promptly began exploring. "I know," he said, "we'll go in through the basement."

"It's locked," I said.

A couple of minutes later he hollered up and said, "come on -- we can go through the gate."

"To where?" I said. "The front door is locked."

Finally he returned, gave me hug, apologized, and sat down in the swing. I tried a couple of ways to pick the lock but was unsuccessful considering I could only find cardboard to work with. At some point, I looked at Hayden who was only wearing his Batman Underoos which were filthy and wrinkled because he had pulled them out of the dirty clothes hamper a hour earlier when he and Brandon were playing Batman. Then I glanced at Brandon who was wearing his Scooby Doo jammies with a hole in the knee (they had been role playing Batman meets Scooby Doo), and the entire situation struck me as hilarious, and I began laughing so hard I couldn't stop.

Hayden wasn't sure if I was seriously laughing or just going a bit looney so he nervously grinned and said, "are you okay?"

"Yes," I said, "It's just kind of hilarious that we're locked out."He began laughing too, as I sat down beside him and put my arm around him. "So what should we do until Daddy gets here?"

We decided to water the garden and the flowers in the front. As soon as I had soaked it all, before I could get to the faucet to turn off the water, the sky opened up. and huge raindrops poured from the sky confining Brandon, Hayden, and me back under the protection of our deck and making the watering task we had just spent 30 minutes on pointless.

As we sat swinging, Brandon now shirtless because he had somehow soaked himself under the dripping faucet, I suddenly was grateful for this unexpected memory God had somehow created for us today. We now quietly sat in the cool breeze watching the pouring rain. Hayden rested his head on my right shoulder and Brandon on the left. And with my arms stretched naturally around them, I thought to myself, there is no other place on earth I would rather be than right here in this peaceful moment with these two perfect little boys.

Sometimes God has to slow me down so I can appreciate the simple moments of parenthood. And I realized, it was God who locked those doors tonight, not Hayden. And when I still didn't slow down, it was God who sent that rain sending us scurrying back to the confines of the deck.

As I sat there savoring the quiet moment in the calm of the pouring rain, Brandon urgently said, "mom, I gotta go pee."

I said, "Can you hold it? It's raining, and we can't get inside yet."

He said, "No, but I can just go off the deck."

As a piece of me briefly considered that suggestion, my thoughts moved to trying to figure out which bush I would shove him behind so my neighbors wouldn't see the rednecks letting their kid pee in the bushes in the pouring rain. But just then, Michael walked out the door and rescued us.

Friday, May 22, 2009

First (Official) Day of Summer Break

Our first full day of summer break was great. The boys and I slept in. I'm not sure what time we actually got up, but it was after 9:00 the last time I looked at the clock this morning, and I rolled around a little while longer. I finally hopped up actually feeling like I got a full night's sleep for a change.

I made what we normally have on Saturday mornings for breakfast - bacon, eggs, and biscuits -- even though it is just Friday. We had all day, no plans, so why not? I've been growing herbs in hanging pots on the back deck and one of my favorites is dill -- we eat A LOT of dill for some reason. So, of course I'm growing dill along with mint, oregano, and basil. I've always put dill in the kids scrambled eggs -- not sure why, I guess because I put it in mine -- not sure why I do that either -- I just do.

Well, today I didn't put the usual dry Kroger dill in the eggs. I decided to use my fresh dill because it's growing very fast -- if you watch if for a few minutes I swear you can see it growing -- the mint is growing even faster. It must be due to the Miracle-Gro potting soil I splurged on and planted them in and the Miracle-Gro food I've been giving them. I was afraid the kids wouldn't eat the eggs with fresh dill since it looks more like skinny little leaves than pepper, so I decided to add the fresh dill to mine after the eggs were done.

I saw Hayden's frown when he approached the table. "Mom, my eggs -- where's my dill?" he asked. I explained to him about the fresh dill, and he immediately hopped up, went out to the deck, snapped off a sprig of dill, walked back to the table, pulled the little leaves of dill off the stem, and tossed them onto his eggs. Then he gobbled them up.

Brandon, of course, was perfecly fine without the dill leaves. His eggs were covered in the usual -- parmesan cheese -- so he was good.

Between the dill and parmesan, I'm not sure they actually even know what eggs taste like.

Next we fed Swimmy and Swan. Have I told you about our new pets? They are guppies Hayden brought home from school. It was either fish, centipedes, or milipedes. I was really pleased with the fish although Hayden really wanted a milipede. I wouldn't have known what to do with the milipede.

I went out and got Swimmy and Swan a little aquarium the day after they arrived and they are as happy as can be living in the aquarium on a bar stool behind our kitchen table. They have a great view of the herbs outside the window. And I swear Swimmy gets excited when he knows it's feeding time. We feed them after our breakfast and our dinner and I really think he knows. I have to walk past the aquarium to get to and from my chair, and he zooms to the front of the tank and pace swims back and forth, back and forth until Hayden and Brandon come around and feed him. Swan calmly waits in her little cave and usually captures the first few bites from food that is sinking toward the bottom. Then she slowly swims to the top and gobbles up whatever Swimmy hasn't woofed down, which isn't much. He is a little pig.

Right after they came to live with us, Hayden told me that Swan was a girl. I asked him how he knew. He said, "daddy said so." I said, "well daddy wouldn't know if a fish was a boy or a girl." He said, "yes he does, he's smart, and he said Swan is pregnant." I said, "I can't tell, so I doubt daddy can tell." He said, "well daddy is smarter than you, so he knows." I'm really hoping Swan doesn't have any babies so I can be smart again.

After breakfast we wandered down to the garden to replant tomatoes -- I lost mine in the flood of 2009. Oddly enough everything else survived although it all appears to have suffered a stunted growth. In fact, it all looks like I just planted it today -- they've been in the ground for almost four weeks now.

I do have two cherry tomato plants in hanging containers on the deck that are around two feet tall and very bushy already. They weren't affected by the flood since they were hanging on my covered deck. It's kind of funny, I thought I was buying those hanging cherry tomato plants like Daddy had on his back porch last year, but apparently they aren't the hanging variety. They just grow straight up. They're going to look a little funny, but I actually think they are going to do very well in my hanging baskets, so I'm leaving them there.

We squeezed a couple of pea plants that Hayden brought home from school into the garden too. I'm not sure what pea plants need or how much space they require, but I hope it's not much. I guess I'll find out, if they survive.

After that, we picked strawberries - lots and lots of strawberries. This is the third year for my strawberry patch and they came in full force this year. I don't treat them with anything, so the critters get to the majority of them, but of the berries that were ripe today, we salvaged about a quart. We tossed about a gallon, seriously. And there are TONS more out there. They are everbearing so they produce some all summer, but right now is the best picking time.

After we were done berry picking... I mean tossing, I turned the sprinkler on the garden. As if there were a switch connected to Hayden from the sprinkler he began losing his clothes instantly, and he didn't have much to lose - just some underoos and a t-shirt. He stripped off the t-shirt, and I assumed he was stopping there. You'd think at almost seven he'd have a sense of modesty, but nope -- off went the underoos until I said, "what are you doing?" "I don't want to get my underoos wet," he said, as if I should have known what he was doing. Of course I told him to put them back on which he grudgingly did.

Speedy Brandon appeared on the deck steps, in the short amount of time it took for Hayden and me to have our conversation, wearing his swim trunks. Apparently he has the switch too, but his switch tells him to get into appropriate attire as quickly as possible. This is an odd role reversal. You'd expect Brandon to drop drawers in an instant and Hayden to run in after the swimtrunks, but for some reason it didn't go down this way. They must be rubbing off on each other. Hayden decided to hop into his swim trunks too after he saw Brandon.

A little while later, after sprinkler play, I planted petunias out front while the boys played close by. Hayden, apparently got a craving for strawberries because he went in and came out eating a dark-red, juicy, warm strawberry. Yes, he washed it first -- that was the first question I asked too. Warm strawberry juice dripped down his chin and onto the sidewalk. It looked delicious so we all headed inside so Hayden and I could eat some strawberries. They were the perfect combination of tart and sweet and were still warm after being picked about an hour earlier. They were heavenly yummy. I stood at the sink eating one after the other and tossing the tops down the garbage disposal. Hayden had a small bowl full and dipped some in honey.

Soon after our strawberry feast we were out back again. I planted beet seeds in a large pot on the deck and put some petunias in pots. Hayden and Brandon spread their beach towels on the deck, sat on them, and played some Gameboy games.

Brandon has decided he wants a Batman room so I spent a little time in his room this afternoon trying to figure out how to do it. I showed him some Batman rooms on the internet. We've decided on a Gotham Cityscape at night. Midnight blues for the sky and black for the buildings at night with white for the windows that will appear lit. I'll paint a yellow Batman signal coming from one of the buildings. The cityscape will cover two walls. I will paint glow-in-the-dark stars. The small window wall will be solid black with glossy black Batman faces and bats stamped all over it to give it texture and depth. The last wall will be bottom half midnight blue and top half Batman gray with a glossy black stripe between the two. A jumbo peel-n-stick Batman will be on the gray part. I'm still trying to decide if I want to go super dark and paint the ceiling as well -- make it feel like his own little bat cave.

I know... I'm talking as if I have a clue how to create all of this, but I'm going to try to make it work because that's what mommies do. It's mostly just geometric shapes so I think I can handle it. It's not like I actually have to paint Batman or anything. We went to Home Depot and picked out our colors and we have Batman ordered. I'm praying he doesn't decide he wants a Scooby Doo room tomorrow.

Hayden wants a Pokemon room. I told him I'd work on it next. Brandon's room will be all that is dark and mysterious. Hayden's will be all that is light and happiness. Interesting.

We ended our day with some yummy cherry limeade's at Sonic. Back at home, I noticed Swimmy pace swimming while H and B were upstairs with daddy so I fed him and Swan.

Ah! Thank God for herbs and sprinklers and unexpected fish pets and warm, ripe strawberries and Batman and cherry limeades and smart daddies and Home Depot and Miracle-Gro and sleep-in days and bacon, egg, and biscuit breakfasts. And most of all, thank God for a great and lazy first day of summer break, and may the rest of our summer be filled with more days just like it.

Oh, and thank God our pool opens tomorrow -- if you can't find us this summer, that's where we'll be.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Conversations

Conversation with Brandon -

Me (running the bath water): Time for bath.
Brandon: Make sure it's not too hot.
Me: It's not too hot. In fact, it's nice and cool.
Brandon: Well, then make sure it's not too cold.

Conversation with Hayden -

Me (placing pizza slices on plates): Come on guys, dinner's ready.
Hayden (walks in from his bedroom and starts to sit down): It's not here.
Me: It will be in just a minute, I'm getting it on the plates.
Hayden (sighing): Don't call me in here until it's on the table. (rushing back to his bedroom)
Me: It will be on the table in 10 seconds.
Hayden: Call me then.
Me (10 seconds later): Dinner's on the table.
Hayden: Are you telling me the truth?
Me (wondering when Hayden turned into a teenager)

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Spring "Performance"

Both boys had their choir spring perfomances at church tonight. Hayden performs with the 1st-6th grade children's choir and Brandon is in preschool choir. Here are the highlights from their performances:

Hayden's musical was called Lifesong, and it included singing, dancing, and acting. He performed the moves flawlessly and sang beautifully. How do I know he sang beautifully when he was 1 child in a choir of around 170 children? Well, he's been singing along to his Lifesong CD for a couple of months now. Even I know all of the words. Really, he has such a beautiful voice - I think God has given him a gift to sing. This is him before his performance in his performance get up. They had to dress "beachy" and his side of the stage had to wear these orange bandanas somewhere on their body - many of them chose this Survivor doo rag look. He wanted to wear sunglasses too, so you could barely tell it was him. The other side had blue bandanas - it was a Survivor-style competition musical. They all had the same Lifesong t-shirts, but could wear whatever "beachy" attire they wanted to with it. Hayden wore his swim trunks with fish on them. We couldn't get pictures of his performance - it was too dark, but we will get the video. It was very cool.

Brandon's musical was called Little Love Notes, and it included singing, hand motions, and acting. The kids were supposed to wear solid primary color shirts. Brandon, as you can see, rebelled and insisted on stripes. At least he was in a primary color, so I let it slide. As soon as Brandon got on stage we realized he would be doing an off-script preformance. It started before the music even began as he worked for a full minute at attempting to pull his elastic-waist pants all the way up to his neck. Behind us we heard someone laughing and then say, "look at that little boy pulling his pants up." They continued to laugh until Brandon stopped tugging at his pants. As he stood there looking like Ed Grimly, he decided this would be a great time to perform arm pit farts. So under his shirt the hand went, showing off the two pictures he had tattooed to his belly a couple of days earlier. Luckily he hasn't perfected the art of the arm pit fart so we couldn't hear anything, but it sure looked effective. The couple behind us laughed hysterically as the woman said, "look at him now." Somehow she caught on to us and asked, "is he yours?" Michael said, "yes." I said, "NO, I don't know him." :)

The fun didn't stop there. Brandon's assigned spot was on the floor of the stage in the very front row, clear for all to see. He rocked his head a few times and raised his hand presenting the #1 symbol high above his head a few times - all unscripted. At some point he sat Indian style and leaned his head across his legs resting his face on the floor for a good minute. When he came back up, he appeared to be finger painting on the floor where his face had been resting. I feared he may have been spit painting, but I kept that to myself. When his painting was complete, he decided he needed a rest, and as he reclined onto his back he raised his legs high in the air, giving a clear view of his Scooby Doo crocs and his... uh-uhm... bottom (Hayden is reading this as I write and insisting I write "butt" instead of "bottom," but I just refuse). This lasted briefly and finally he rested back on his elbows and kicked his feet out in front of him and crossed them. He lounged like this for the last few minutes of the performance. And through it all, he never sang a single word despite the fact that he's been singing his songs at home for a couple of months now.

My mom said, "He's not the only one not singing. There are quite a few up there not singing."

Yes, I thought to myself, but are the others arm pit farting, doing Ed Grimly impressions, and spit painting on the floor? The answer would have been no.

A few minutes later mom said, "Maybe Brandon just isn't going to be the performer that Hayden is. Maybe it's just not his thing." ----- Ya think? :)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Space, Capes, and Poots

While we were driving home from church tonight, Brandon had some interesting God questions. Here was our conversation:

Brandon: Does God go to space?
Me: Sure. He can go anywhere he wants to.
Brandon: Does He wear a cape?
Me: I guess if he's in the mood to be a superhero he might.
Brandon: Does God poot?
Me (giggling): I don't know, but I don't think He poots.
Michael: Maybe God enjoys a good poot.
Brandon (giggling): Does He pee?
Me: I don't know.
Brandon: I think He poots and flies around in space (giggle, giggle, giggle).
Hayden: (giggle, giggle, giggle)

Isn't it fun how a 4-year-old tries to understand God? Brandon sometimes wears a cape, poots, pees and would love to fly around in space. Now he can relate to God, in a 4-year-old kind of way.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

A Day at the Ball Field

There's nothing that says summer's here like a day at the ball field. I know, technically it's not summer, but when it's 85 degrees outside, I'm callin' it summer. Here are some... uh highlights?... of the day:

  • As we were preparing to leave for the ball games, I finished getting dressed and walked into the kitchen. I was wearing a black tank top (so I could get some sun on my shoulders) and some red above-the-knee pants (rolled up so I could get some sun on my legs). My clothes may have been a little flashier than normal, but hey, my winter white skin needed a little vitamen D, not to mention color. I don't think Hayden approved because as I entered the kitchen he looked up, and said, "is that what you're wearing to my ball game?"
  • Hayden's team won their second straight week. Hayden played first base backup and handled his postion flawlessly. When he was up to bat and had made his way around the bases, there was a tense moment when he was running to home base, and a player from the opposing team was running toward home with the ball. The crowd cheered Hayden on as he sprinted. At home plate, he was one step ahead and was safe. He smiled all the way to the dugout, clearly pleased with his accomplishment.
  • During Hayden's game, Brandon became spirit filled - sort of. He has recently been fascinated with burping and was showing off his burping skills to Nana. After a nice, prolonged burp, when mom and I had lost interest and were paying him no attention, he boldly announced, " burp, burp, PRRRAAISE THE LORD!" Of course, we began to laugh hysterically sending him into a couple more renditions of "burp, burp, PRRRAAISE THE LORD." I assumed his burp felt so good, he felt the spirit move him.
  • During Brandon's game, Hayden became his personal coach. Brandon started out playing first base, and his coach kept telling him to wait there and not run for the ball. Well, Hayden kept telling Brandon to run for the ball. Brandon, having more history and as a result more trust in Hayden, kept running for the ball. Then his coach would tell him not to run, Hayden would tell him to run - okay are you seeing the cycle? Finally, Brandon became fed up because he wasn't catching the hit balls(his job being to stand on first and catch the balls his team mates throw to him), so he dramatically removed his glove, threw it on the ground, and stomped ball-field dust all the way to the gate where he exited and walked as far away from the game as I would let him get. The coach got him and put him in a position where he could catch some hit balls. Brando got the next five and decided he was done catching, so he wandered to another spot on the field. Oh the joy and madness of 4-year-old boys playing t-ball. And mystery... well, there was a lot of that - what is he doing in the other team's dugout? Why is that one that just hit running straight to second base (skipping 1st altogether)? What is that little boy burying in the dirt out there? Why are there only 5 boys on the field, we started with 10? You've just gotta love them.
  • Hayden is also Brandon's number 1 cheerleader. Brandon loved the cheers in the first inning, but by the second inning he had had enough. He left his position on the field, wandered toward Hayden who was hanging on the fence watching and cheering, put his non-gloved hand on his hip, leaned forward, and yelled, "I DIDN'T CATCH THE BALL, NOW STOP CHEERING!" He then turned and stomped back to his position, a little circle one of the coaches had made in the dirt for another little boy who kept wandering earlier in the game. Finally, during his last bat, he made it to first just fine, but between first and second he decided to WALK super, duper, schmuper slow (ask Brandon for the defintion of that, but lets just say, it's REALLY slow).
  • Of note, Brandon was one of the calmer kids on his team today... scary, I know.
  • Oddly enough, we're making progress. Last week Brandon got mad right after the first half of the first inning and left the field and no amount of prompting would get him back out there. He did play the whole game today, so we were quite proud.

Finally, at noon, three hours after we arrived at the ball field, both games were over and we had started our journey home. As we were driving out we saw the Kona Ice Truck (this is a truck that drives around our town in the summer and sells shaved ice with every possible flavor imaginable - and it has some flavor faucets on the outside of the truck so you can create your own - it's very cool).

Kona Ice and baseball - OH YES, it is definitely summer.

(By the way, did you see how that love, joy, mystery, and madness thing worked out in this post? Pretty neat, huh?)

Friday, April 24, 2009

A Season of Love, Joy, Mystery, and... Madness

I might be a bit of a blogaholic, but since I lost track of keeping up with writing about my adventures as a stay-at-home mom, I decided I'd give it a shot here since I seem to have no trouble keeping up with blogging. I have some fun things planned for this site, so check back often. So, you know why I'm starting this blog, but I'm sure you're wondering, what's up with the name or at least some of the name.

My Chronicles of Parenthood is pretty self explanatory. Chronicles because I love how it feels and sounds when I say it - I just like this word. I tried to steal the idea from C. S. Lewis and build off of Chronicles of Narnia, but when I tried to get a blog address, Chronicles of Parenthood was taken. So I kept with the "My" theme from my other blog, My Writing Loft. My Chronicles of Parenthood was not taken. Then it grew on me and now I actually prefer it - it is, afterall, MY chronicles, not chronicles in general.

The subheading, A Season of Love, Joy, Mystery, and... Madness, took a lot of work to get to - a couple of days really. It started out as Heart Tugs and Madness Mishaps. But, I really didn't like the definition of mishaps so this morphed into Heart Tugs and Moments of Madness, then Moments of Love and Moments of Madness, then Moments of Love, Fun, and Madness, and so on and so on until its transformation was complete at what you now see.

My blog will focus on love, joy, mystery, and madness in my posts. Love and joy, I assume, are self explanatory. Mystery may, for example, be something like me asking the boys, "who keeps peeing on the back of the toilet?" Hayden's response, "not me." Brandon's response, "not me." Michael's response, "don't look at me." Now I must solve the problem. Do you see the mystery here? :) Madness... well, this is another word I just really like and knew I would use, along with chronicles, in the heading somehow, but since Chronicles of Madness brought to mind an entirely different type of blog, I had to throw in a few other words to explain the concept. Here's dictionary.com's definition of madness:

1. the state of being mad; insanity.
2. senseless folly
3. frenzy; rage.
4. intense excitement or enthusiasm.

Yes! The perfect words to describe almost every single day of my experience of parenthood - love, joy, mystery, and madness. If you can think of another one I should throw in that isn't covered in one of these, let me know.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Welcome Family

Welcome, family, to my blog.