The Great Lockout of 2009

I've heard the horror stories, but I never thought it would actually happen to me. Today, shortly after 6:00 p.m., it did. Here's how it went down:

This time of year, with the weather being absolutely perfect, and the boys being out of school and us having no formal plans, we leave the two doors to the deck unlocked and just wander in and out them throughout the day. So, shortly after 6:00, I wandered out one of the doors to glance over the deck rail toward the tree where we have some baby robins living. Read (this) to find out about our baby bird adventure earlier in the day. Brandon followed me out, and a couple of minutes later Hayden was at my side fishing over the deck rail. He's practicing for our big June fishing trip in WV.

As he was fishing he was also snickering off and on. Finally, I began laughing too and said, "what are you giggling about?"

He said, "I locked the door." (more snickering)

I instantly stopped laughing and hoping I didn't hear him correctly said, "you what?"

"I locked the door," he said, clearly pleased with himself. (snickering some more)

I quickly checked the door, and sure enough it was locked. My heart started to pound a little but calmed when I glanced at the other door. Certainly he didn't lock both of them -- afterall he only came out one. So I headed toward the other door.

"I locked that one too," he said. (snickering some more)

"What?" I said, now starting to lose my temper a smidgen as Hayden continued to snicker in the background. When I confirmed that the door was indeed locked, I said, "stop laughing, Hayden, this isn't funny. What are we supposed to do now? How are we supposed to get back in?"

Hayden had what he thought was the perfect solution. "Daddy will let us in."

I had just talked to Daddy before we got locked out. He was still at work. When he left he would be making a couple of stops on the way home. It would be over an hour before Daddy got home. My oven was preheating -- at least it would be nice and warm when we got back in.

I said, "I have no idea when Daddy will be here. What if he doesn't get here until 10:00?" I knew it wouldn't be that late, but my anger had made me a little irrational.

Hayden promptly began exploring. "I know," he said, "we'll go in through the basement."

"It's locked," I said.

A couple of minutes later he hollered up and said, "come on -- we can go through the gate."

"To where?" I said. "The front door is locked."

Finally he returned, gave me hug, apologized, and sat down in the swing. I tried a couple of ways to pick the lock but was unsuccessful considering I could only find cardboard to work with. At some point, I looked at Hayden who was only wearing his Batman Underoos which were filthy and wrinkled because he had pulled them out of the dirty clothes hamper a hour earlier when he and Brandon were playing Batman. Then I glanced at Brandon who was wearing his Scooby Doo jammies with a hole in the knee (they had been role playing Batman meets Scooby Doo), and the entire situation struck me as hilarious, and I began laughing so hard I couldn't stop.

Hayden wasn't sure if I was seriously laughing or just going a bit looney so he nervously grinned and said, "are you okay?"

"Yes," I said, "It's just kind of hilarious that we're locked out."He began laughing too, as I sat down beside him and put my arm around him. "So what should we do until Daddy gets here?"

We decided to water the garden and the flowers in the front. As soon as I had soaked it all, before I could get to the faucet to turn off the water, the sky opened up. and huge raindrops poured from the sky confining Brandon, Hayden, and me back under the protection of our deck and making the watering task we had just spent 30 minutes on pointless.

As we sat swinging, Brandon now shirtless because he had somehow soaked himself under the dripping faucet, I suddenly was grateful for this unexpected memory God had somehow created for us today. We now quietly sat in the cool breeze watching the pouring rain. Hayden rested his head on my right shoulder and Brandon on the left. And with my arms stretched naturally around them, I thought to myself, there is no other place on earth I would rather be than right here in this peaceful moment with these two perfect little boys.

Sometimes God has to slow me down so I can appreciate the simple moments of parenthood. And I realized, it was God who locked those doors tonight, not Hayden. And when I still didn't slow down, it was God who sent that rain sending us scurrying back to the confines of the deck.

As I sat there savoring the quiet moment in the calm of the pouring rain, Brandon urgently said, "mom, I gotta go pee."

I said, "Can you hold it? It's raining, and we can't get inside yet."

He said, "No, but I can just go off the deck."

As a piece of me briefly considered that suggestion, my thoughts moved to trying to figure out which bush I would shove him behind so my neighbors wouldn't see the rednecks letting their kid pee in the bushes in the pouring rain. But just then, Michael walked out the door and rescued us.

First (Official) Day of Summer Break

Our first full day of summer break was great. The boys and I slept in. I'm not sure what time we actually got up, but it was after 9:00 the last time I looked at the clock this morning, and I rolled around a little while longer. I finally hopped up actually feeling like I got a full night's sleep for a change.

I made what we normally have on Saturday mornings for breakfast - bacon, eggs, and biscuits -- even though it is just Friday. We had all day, no plans, so why not? I've been growing herbs in hanging pots on the back deck and one of my favorites is dill -- we eat A LOT of dill for some reason. So, of course I'm growing dill along with mint, oregano, and basil. I've always put dill in the kids scrambled eggs -- not sure why, I guess because I put it in mine -- not sure why I do that either -- I just do.

Well, today I didn't put the usual dry Kroger dill in the eggs. I decided to use my fresh dill because it's growing very fast -- if you watch if for a few minutes I swear you can see it growing -- the mint is growing even faster. It must be due to the Miracle-Gro potting soil I splurged on and planted them in and the Miracle-Gro food I've been giving them. I was afraid the kids wouldn't eat the eggs with fresh dill since it looks more like skinny little leaves than pepper, so I decided to add the fresh dill to mine after the eggs were done.

I saw Hayden's frown when he approached the table. "Mom, my eggs -- where's my dill?" he asked. I explained to him about the fresh dill, and he immediately hopped up, went out to the deck, snapped off a sprig of dill, walked back to the table, pulled the little leaves of dill off the stem, and tossed them onto his eggs. Then he gobbled them up.

Brandon, of course, was perfecly fine without the dill leaves. His eggs were covered in the usual -- parmesan cheese -- so he was good.

Between the dill and parmesan, I'm not sure they actually even know what eggs taste like.

Next we fed Swimmy and Swan. Have I told you about our new pets? They are guppies Hayden brought home from school. It was either fish, centipedes, or milipedes. I was really pleased with the fish although Hayden really wanted a milipede. I wouldn't have known what to do with the milipede.

I went out and got Swimmy and Swan a little aquarium the day after they arrived and they are as happy as can be living in the aquarium on a bar stool behind our kitchen table. They have a great view of the herbs outside the window. And I swear Swimmy gets excited when he knows it's feeding time. We feed them after our breakfast and our dinner and I really think he knows. I have to walk past the aquarium to get to and from my chair, and he zooms to the front of the tank and pace swims back and forth, back and forth until Hayden and Brandon come around and feed him. Swan calmly waits in her little cave and usually captures the first few bites from food that is sinking toward the bottom. Then she slowly swims to the top and gobbles up whatever Swimmy hasn't woofed down, which isn't much. He is a little pig.

Right after they came to live with us, Hayden told me that Swan was a girl. I asked him how he knew. He said, "daddy said so." I said, "well daddy wouldn't know if a fish was a boy or a girl." He said, "yes he does, he's smart, and he said Swan is pregnant." I said, "I can't tell, so I doubt daddy can tell." He said, "well daddy is smarter than you, so he knows." I'm really hoping Swan doesn't have any babies so I can be smart again.

After breakfast we wandered down to the garden to replant tomatoes -- I lost mine in the flood of 2009. Oddly enough everything else survived although it all appears to have suffered a stunted growth. In fact, it all looks like I just planted it today -- they've been in the ground for almost four weeks now.

I do have two cherry tomato plants in hanging containers on the deck that are around two feet tall and very bushy already. They weren't affected by the flood since they were hanging on my covered deck. It's kind of funny, I thought I was buying those hanging cherry tomato plants like Daddy had on his back porch last year, but apparently they aren't the hanging variety. They just grow straight up. They're going to look a little funny, but I actually think they are going to do very well in my hanging baskets, so I'm leaving them there.

We squeezed a couple of pea plants that Hayden brought home from school into the garden too. I'm not sure what pea plants need or how much space they require, but I hope it's not much. I guess I'll find out, if they survive.

After that, we picked strawberries - lots and lots of strawberries. This is the third year for my strawberry patch and they came in full force this year. I don't treat them with anything, so the critters get to the majority of them, but of the berries that were ripe today, we salvaged about a quart. We tossed about a gallon, seriously. And there are TONS more out there. They are everbearing so they produce some all summer, but right now is the best picking time.

After we were done berry picking... I mean tossing, I turned the sprinkler on the garden. As if there were a switch connected to Hayden from the sprinkler he began losing his clothes instantly, and he didn't have much to lose - just some underoos and a t-shirt. He stripped off the t-shirt, and I assumed he was stopping there. You'd think at almost seven he'd have a sense of modesty, but nope -- off went the underoos until I said, "what are you doing?" "I don't want to get my underoos wet," he said, as if I should have known what he was doing. Of course I told him to put them back on which he grudgingly did.

Speedy Brandon appeared on the deck steps, in the short amount of time it took for Hayden and me to have our conversation, wearing his swim trunks. Apparently he has the switch too, but his switch tells him to get into appropriate attire as quickly as possible. This is an odd role reversal. You'd expect Brandon to drop drawers in an instant and Hayden to run in after the swimtrunks, but for some reason it didn't go down this way. They must be rubbing off on each other. Hayden decided to hop into his swim trunks too after he saw Brandon.

A little while later, after sprinkler play, I planted petunias out front while the boys played close by. Hayden, apparently got a craving for strawberries because he went in and came out eating a dark-red, juicy, warm strawberry. Yes, he washed it first -- that was the first question I asked too. Warm strawberry juice dripped down his chin and onto the sidewalk. It looked delicious so we all headed inside so Hayden and I could eat some strawberries. They were the perfect combination of tart and sweet and were still warm after being picked about an hour earlier. They were heavenly yummy. I stood at the sink eating one after the other and tossing the tops down the garbage disposal. Hayden had a small bowl full and dipped some in honey.

Soon after our strawberry feast we were out back again. I planted beet seeds in a large pot on the deck and put some petunias in pots. Hayden and Brandon spread their beach towels on the deck, sat on them, and played some Gameboy games.

Brandon has decided he wants a Batman room so I spent a little time in his room this afternoon trying to figure out how to do it. I showed him some Batman rooms on the internet. We've decided on a Gotham Cityscape at night. Midnight blues for the sky and black for the buildings at night with white for the windows that will appear lit. I'll paint a yellow Batman signal coming from one of the buildings. The cityscape will cover two walls. I will paint glow-in-the-dark stars. The small window wall will be solid black with glossy black Batman faces and bats stamped all over it to give it texture and depth. The last wall will be bottom half midnight blue and top half Batman gray with a glossy black stripe between the two. A jumbo peel-n-stick Batman will be on the gray part. I'm still trying to decide if I want to go super dark and paint the ceiling as well -- make it feel like his own little bat cave.

I know... I'm talking as if I have a clue how to create all of this, but I'm going to try to make it work because that's what mommies do. It's mostly just geometric shapes so I think I can handle it. It's not like I actually have to paint Batman or anything. We went to Home Depot and picked out our colors and we have Batman ordered. I'm praying he doesn't decide he wants a Scooby Doo room tomorrow.

Hayden wants a Pokemon room. I told him I'd work on it next. Brandon's room will be all that is dark and mysterious. Hayden's will be all that is light and happiness. Interesting.

We ended our day with some yummy cherry limeade's at Sonic. Back at home, I noticed Swimmy pace swimming while H and B were upstairs with daddy so I fed him and Swan.

Ah! Thank God for herbs and sprinklers and unexpected fish pets and warm, ripe strawberries and Batman and cherry limeades and smart daddies and Home Depot and Miracle-Gro and sleep-in days and bacon, egg, and biscuit breakfasts. And most of all, thank God for a great and lazy first day of summer break, and may the rest of our summer be filled with more days just like it.

Oh, and thank God our pool opens tomorrow -- if you can't find us this summer, that's where we'll be.

Conversations

Conversation with Brandon -

Me (running the bath water): Time for bath.
Brandon: Make sure it's not too hot.
Me: It's not too hot. In fact, it's nice and cool.
Brandon: Well, then make sure it's not too cold.

Conversation with Hayden -

Me (placing pizza slices on plates): Come on guys, dinner's ready.
Hayden (walks in from his bedroom and starts to sit down): It's not here.
Me: It will be in just a minute, I'm getting it on the plates.
Hayden (sighing): Don't call me in here until it's on the table. (rushing back to his bedroom)
Me: It will be on the table in 10 seconds.
Hayden: Call me then.
Me (10 seconds later): Dinner's on the table.
Hayden: Are you telling me the truth?
Me (wondering when Hayden turned into a teenager)

Spring "Performance"

Both boys had their choir spring perfomances at church tonight. Hayden performs with the 1st-6th grade children's choir and Brandon is in preschool choir. Here are the highlights from their performances:

Hayden's musical was called Lifesong, and it included singing, dancing, and acting. He performed the moves flawlessly and sang beautifully. How do I know he sang beautifully when he was 1 child in a choir of around 170 children? Well, he's been singing along to his Lifesong CD for a couple of months now. Even I know all of the words. Really, he has such a beautiful voice - I think God has given him a gift to sing. This is him before his performance in his performance get up. They had to dress "beachy" and his side of the stage had to wear these orange bandanas somewhere on their body - many of them chose this Survivor doo rag look. He wanted to wear sunglasses too, so you could barely tell it was him. The other side had blue bandanas - it was a Survivor-style competition musical. They all had the same Lifesong t-shirts, but could wear whatever "beachy" attire they wanted to with it. Hayden wore his swim trunks with fish on them. We couldn't get pictures of his performance - it was too dark, but we will get the video. It was very cool.

Brandon's musical was called Little Love Notes, and it included singing, hand motions, and acting. The kids were supposed to wear solid primary color shirts. Brandon, as you can see, rebelled and insisted on stripes. At least he was in a primary color, so I let it slide. As soon as Brandon got on stage we realized he would be doing an off-script preformance. It started before the music even began as he worked for a full minute at attempting to pull his elastic-waist pants all the way up to his neck. Behind us we heard someone laughing and then say, "look at that little boy pulling his pants up." They continued to laugh until Brandon stopped tugging at his pants. As he stood there looking like Ed Grimly, he decided this would be a great time to perform arm pit farts. So under his shirt the hand went, showing off the two pictures he had tattooed to his belly a couple of days earlier. Luckily he hasn't perfected the art of the arm pit fart so we couldn't hear anything, but it sure looked effective. The couple behind us laughed hysterically as the woman said, "look at him now." Somehow she caught on to us and asked, "is he yours?" Michael said, "yes." I said, "NO, I don't know him." :)

The fun didn't stop there. Brandon's assigned spot was on the floor of the stage in the very front row, clear for all to see. He rocked his head a few times and raised his hand presenting the #1 symbol high above his head a few times - all unscripted. At some point he sat Indian style and leaned his head across his legs resting his face on the floor for a good minute. When he came back up, he appeared to be finger painting on the floor where his face had been resting. I feared he may have been spit painting, but I kept that to myself. When his painting was complete, he decided he needed a rest, and as he reclined onto his back he raised his legs high in the air, giving a clear view of his Scooby Doo crocs and his... uh-uhm... bottom (Hayden is reading this as I write and insisting I write "butt" instead of "bottom," but I just refuse). This lasted briefly and finally he rested back on his elbows and kicked his feet out in front of him and crossed them. He lounged like this for the last few minutes of the performance. And through it all, he never sang a single word despite the fact that he's been singing his songs at home for a couple of months now.

My mom said, "He's not the only one not singing. There are quite a few up there not singing."

Yes, I thought to myself, but are the others arm pit farting, doing Ed Grimly impressions, and spit painting on the floor? The answer would have been no.

A few minutes later mom said, "Maybe Brandon just isn't going to be the performer that Hayden is. Maybe it's just not his thing." ----- Ya think? :)